We’ve had plenty of inquiries from our sellers lately about how to manage time wasters in the panty selling industry. Don’t get us wrong, the community at Kinkie is awesome, and you’ll find many loyal buyers who will be more than happy to spend some cash on your goods! You’ll also find yourself becoming friends with some of your regulars, and that’s a great thing, isn’t it?
However, like for all jobs, there will always be a small percentage of “buyers” who try to get something from you for free, or simply to get perks you’re not comfortable with giving.
With this short guide, we hope to answer all your questions about how to deal with time wasters. Have you got other tips about managing freeloaders? Let us know in the comments!
Some buyers have a clear idea of what they want and will get straight to the point in your conversations. They will ask you if you have a specific type of lingerie they want, how long you can wear the panty before shipping them and practical details about the shipping process itself. These are generally serious buyers who are truly interested in purchasing items from you.
Others will start long conversations with you, asking not only about stuff that is strictly related to the items you sell, but also about certain sexual fantasies. In short, they’ll try to have you sext with them for free.
Most of our sellers apply the “five minutes rule”. They exchange texts or emails with the buyer for five minutes. Then, if they see that the conversation isn’t clearly leading to an actual sale, they just stop replying to avoid wasting more time. Don’t feel like ghosting the potential buyer? On Kinkly you can sell sexting sessions, so you can politely tell the user that he can purchase a “dirty talk experience” from you, but you can’t share your sexual fantasies for free over email.
Be polite, but firm. After all, no one would go to Starbucks asking for a free latte, right? In the same way, getting paid for your work is your right, and buyers should never violate it.
A buyer should never get anything from you — whether it’s a pair of panty, a sexy video or a photo set — before paying.
For downloadable items, such as videos or photos, you can just ask for a deposit before actually delivering the item.
Example, you can ask the buyer to pay 10% upfront, then the rest of the money after they receive the product.
This items that you actually have to ship, spending money at the post office (plus the amount of money you already spent on lingerie or other items), we strongly suggest that you get the full payment upfront.
When a buyer has already purchased several times from you and you trust him, it’s up to you if you still prefer to get your payment upfront, or you’re comfortable with just a small deposit. However, never let anyone pressure you into doing something or giving out something for free.
Many buyers like to pay for used panties and other sexy items with gift cards for popular eCommerce sites, like Amazon. This payment method can be convenient because it allows you to treat yourself with new clothes, makeup, and other things from the places where you already buy online. However, it requires a little more attention on your part.
First of all, create new accounts on Amazon and other eCommerce sites with your sales email, not your personal email, and your nickname in lieu of your real name. This way, the buyer can send the gift card directly to your seller email, and you won’t have to disclose any personal information.
Secondly, spend the money as soon as you get the gift card. This helps to prevent the guy from asking Amazon — or any other e-commerce website — a refund for the gift card, leaving you empty-handed. Now this is a good reason to indulge in some retail therapy right away!
Lastly, beware when the buyer gives you a gift card code over instant messaging, without actually having the ecommerce site sending a regular gift card to your email. If this happens, the guy can report the gift card code as stolen by you and get a refund, so you won’t be able to spend your money.
Some panty sellers and cam models have wishlists on Amazon or other popular eCommerce sites, where they list gifts they’d like to receive in exchange for their used panty, sexting sessions, or nudes. Some panty sellers also use wishlists to let the buyer choose the perfect pair of panty they want the seller to wear for them.
While this method may sound simple and intuitive, it actually has several drawbacks. First of all, the buyer could receive a confirmation email with your shipping address, which is something that could seriously compromise your privacy. You could technically get a PO box to hide your actual address, but it tends to become expensive.
Secondly, time wasters could try to cancel the purchase of your gift after they’ve received sexy goodies from you. It happens rarely, but the buyer can still succeed if the item has not been shipped to you yet.
If you want your customer to choose the panty you’re going to wear for him, have him send you a link to his favourite lingerie piece on Amazon or other websites, then mail you a gift card to purchase it. Alternatively, he can let you know which pair of panty he wants, then send you money so you can buy them. Never buy panty before getting money or a gift card from the buyer.
To build a good relationship with buyers, it’s best to be honest right from the start. Many of our sellers write on their public profiles a polite but direct statement about their unwillingness to do sexy things for free. A simple action like this goes a long way to discourage both potential freeloaders and deluded guys who think that you’re there to find a potential sexual partner, not to earn some money.
Try to make a statement that reflects your personality while still being very upfront about what you can’t do for free. If you can’t stand guys who are trying to have you exchange dirty emails with them for free, you can write something like, “Unfortunately, my busy schedule prevents me from being able to answer all the dirty messages I get in my inbox. Please only email me for inquiries about my items for sale. If you want some dirty talk with me, you can always purchase one of my sexting sessions, and I’ll be happy to show you a new side of me…”
That you get pressured to send items before payment, state clearly on your profile that you require an advance payment or a deposit. If the buyers see that your policies are transparent, they’ll trust you more — and, eventually, purchase more from you.
PayPal is one of the most common methods for getting online payments but, unfortunately, it’s not adult-friendly. In fact, the payment giant’s policy explicitly prohibits using the service to sell many types of sexually-oriented goods.
Digital naughty goods like nude photos and videos are banned by PayPal all around the world. In the US, people can still use the service to sell certain types of physical adult goods, like magazines and porn DVDs. In other countries, PayPal bans all types of sexually-oriented goods and transactions.
So, what happens if PayPal catches you selling used panties? Well, it might shut down your account, which means that you can’t shop online on your favourite websites anymore. We think it’s not worth to lose the safety and convenience of PayPal, so just stick with other payment methods.
In addition, PayPal allows chargebacks, so unfortunately many time wasters manage somehow to get refunds for the payment they just sent you, maybe when you’ve already shipped your precious pair of panties or shot a custom sex video for them.
With time and experience selling panties, you’ll eventually become able to distinguish a serious buyer, who is actually interested in purchasing, from a freeloader. In the meanwhile, the best advice we can give you is what probably your grandma already told you countless times: trust your gut!
If a conversation with a potential buyer seems off, and he insists that you keep talking dirty without ever showing intentions to buy items from you, feel free to ignore him. If a payment arrangement doesn’t convince you, ask the buyer for a different solution. Remember, you’re in charge all the time!
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