EAT MY TOES 👣

THE STALE TOE-PRINT BREAKFAST 🍞👣

Attention, you pathetic little snuffling piglets. 🐷

Fresh bread? Absolutely not.

You don’t deserve fresh bread.

This is STALE BREAD.

Because apparently ordinary breakfast wasn’t humiliating enough, so I’m taking a perfectly innocent, slightly sad loaf that’s been sitting around getting progressively less desirable… and I’m adding the one thing it was missing:

MY TOES.

Yep. I’m stamping my foot into the bread and leaving you a beautiful little toe-print masterpiece.

Imagine your morning:

You crawl out of bed.

You shuffle into the kitchen.

You open the bread bag.

And there it is.

My toes.

On your stale bread.

You stare at it.

The bread stares back.

You put it in the toaster anyway because you’re a pathetic little beta breakfast boy and apparently this is what we’ve become. 😂

CLICK.

POP.

And suddenly you’re sitting there eating toast that has literally been under my foot.

What a humiliating way to start your day.

No dignity.

No self-respect.

Just bu*ter, stale bread and the knowledge that my toes have officially become part of your breakfast routine.

👣 YOUR SAD LITTLE BREAKFAST OPTIONS:

2 slices — £25
A tiny taste of humiliation.

5 slices — £40
Enough to keep your pathetic little breakfast going.

FULL LOAF — £60
For the absolute snuffling piglet who wants to commit fully to the lifestyle.

Because some people wake up and have avocado toast.

You wake up and eat my footprints.

Honestly?

I think we both know who’s winning here. 👑👣🍞

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